sigh.

So now you know.

Couldn't say anything for obvious reasons, plus i didn't want to ruin it for anyone.

Knew about it for weeks. Phil Sgriccia (director) was kind to call us ahead of time and tell us we were going out. Totally didn't see it coming but those are always the best ones.

I was a little shocked at first....why bring us back just to kill us off?....was the question in my mind. Who knows why. If we were a fly on the wall of the writers room, maybe we'd have a better idea. Maybe they don't even know.....i would imagine writing is a tricky thing. So many variables to think of. I do believe that they needed a nail-biter-shocker to go into the mid season break and i think Jo and Ellen were a good target. Wish it wasn't the case but it made for some good TV, no? Plus, come on......do they let ANYONE live on the show? The boys, Bobby, and Cass. Everyone else is fair game.

It was a wonderful way to go. We had fun. Cried buckets of tears for the goodbye scenes. Alona did, too. Bizarre working with the hellhounds as they were CGI and weren't really there at all. I don't know how actors do big blockbuster movies working with just a CGI character.......director has to talk you through it.....you are reacting to something that isn't there....gotta use your imagination. Weird.

The shout out to Kim Manners was an idea from one of the Camera guys, Brad. He came up to me quietly on the down low before we shot that piece where i say goodbye to Dean and said, "hey, when you turn around to say "don't miss" try one where you say "kick it in the ass" ". The line was just supposed to be "....and Dean, don't miss". We did both. They put both in. It was a bittersweet moment for the cast and crew. Robin the props gal cried......Kim is/was and will always be a very loved and missed man. Especially on that set.

They were really lovely to myself and Alona. Gave us a nice send off. Sent us beautiful gift baskets and made the sweetest send off DVD. It made me cry. Phil and Kristin (in the LA office....post production) put together a little compilation DVD montage of a bunch of our work....best part: it was done to Tom Jones' song, She's a Lady. It was very thoughful of them. I cried.
Hell, i BAWLED after i shot the last scene (where i got up and took the chain off the doors and let the dogs in). Like a break up.....and you lose his family, too. You know that feeling?

Ah well. Great thing about Supernatural.....you can always come back as a ghost or something else non-human.....and i don't think that is totally out of the question. There was talk of that, but i think it might have been maybe to make us feel a bit better? Who knows. With this show anything can happen.

And hey......there are always the conventions! Three of them next spring/summer....Australia, Germany and Spain. Totally Psyched.....May will be here before you know it.

XO